SUBMISSION NO.13

“You can’t call yourself a Muslim if you are gay.” That’s what my dad said to me when I asked him if

he accepts gay people.

But he’s wrong. I’m bisexual AND Muslim.

And when I say I’m Muslim, I don’t mean that my family is Muslim so I just follow the religion out of obligation. I mean I truly believe in Allah, and I truly love my religion. Since middle school, my faith has been a huge part of my life. It helps me find meaning in life. However, in middle school, I followed every rule specifically. So at the beginning of my sophomore year, when I realized I liked girls, I was terrified. 

It was a long journey to accepting my sexuality and feeling comfortable about my religious beliefs. For the first few months, I convinced myself that my duty as a Muslim is to make sure I don’t act on these feelings. I thought “this is just a test, I just have to avoid gay relationships.”

But as time went on, I realized this was much harder than it seemed. I was basically denying my identity, and for what? How could I be sure that being gay will send me to Hell? I started to believe that the Quran was up to interpretation: each Muslim uses it in the way that best fits their life. And to me, that meant homosexuality may not be that bad. Because logically, why would it be? It doesn’t harm anyone else. And couples don’t have to reproduce when there are so many children to adopt. So I concluded that I can be gay, and it’s okay.

I still believe strongly in my faith. I pray five times a day and fast during Ramadan and make sure I give to charity.

I can do all that and still like girls. It doesn’t make me any less of a Muslim, and it especially doesn’t make me any less of a good person.

I definitely have moments where I don’t fully accept myself, like during religious holidays, but I’m getting there. I even asked out the girl I had a crush on. I’m starting to allow myself to embrace these two very important parts of my identity: being LGBT and being Muslim. Because they can coexist.