SUBMISSION NO.6
So far in my time at high school, I’ve had two suicidal friends.
The first time I heard about one of my friends being suicidal was in my sophomore year, and it was told to me without emotion. It just wasn’t taken seriously, because this girl was already on antidepressants, and plus she always had a sarcastic attitude. Her closer friends just thought it was just a phase. I didn’t know her too well so I trusted her better friend, a childhood one, that she was okay and her suicide attempt wasn’t to worry about. Her family already knew and she was hospitalized and in rehab for it. Nonetheless, I reached out to extend support for her. I got a brief thank you but the topic of suicide was never actually mentioned even later and I never brought it up. It’s been a year since and she is at such a good point right now and it seems things have really worked out for the better for her.
The second time I heard my friend, this time it was my much closer friend, was suicidal, I think I cried for a solid few days. It came as a shock because this person to me was always my support whenever I was going through (now that I compare) my relatively small issues. I didn’t know how to react because with my previous experience, I kind of thought this was also a phase and that my friend was just having a bad day. But my head just couldn't wrap around the idea that such a strong, kind, and stable person could be having such a ‘bad day’. I tried to add my two cents of paragraphs of support and got the brief thank you and the topic wasn’t brought up for a brief while. But at this point, I couldn’t imagine feeling so helpless and trying to help my close friend so I just straight up went to a teacher and reported it, and I felt safe. I felt like I had really done something and with my friend not bringing up the topic of suicide again, I thought the ‘phase’ was really over.
But truly it wasn’t, and he was still hurting. He later told me about more attempts and I sat in my bed for hours feeling crushed with my eyes pouring in my most helpless moments because I realized this wasn’t a phase. I frantically told the school once more and got in contact with the principal who again called my friend’s parents.
And at this point, I realize that suicide can’t just be ‘dealt with’ with one single blow. It follows highs and lows and people just really don’t want to talk about it. They try to hide it from everyone and honestly sometimes I feel like I can’t do anything of significance to help beside send essays of affection and encouragement. And at this point I think that’s the only thing in my power I can do: just support my friend and be a positive vibe.
But this really made me realize that the people that you think are doing the best because they’re just that ‘one amazing person’, can actually be the people hurting the most. From this, I was extremely motivated to remind all my other best friends of how much I loved them and what I think makes them amazing. I started texting people in my contacts with simple checkups and boosts of encouragement and I strive to smile and give compliments to people every day. And although this might not make that much of a difference, I feel so much less helpless at night knowing that at least I’m out there spreading positivity and maybe making a difference. Everyone is struggling and with such a competitive environment, people begin to forget all the love and support there is for them and I think it’s that much crucial for people to be more honest with each other about their problems before they begin to believe there’s no way out. Suicide is a serious and real thing, and it deserves more attention then it gets now. People really just need to support each other and know that there are resources available because we’re all in this together.
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